Fitting In

Often I seriously wonder why on Earth anyone would ever want to "fit in". That is something that I have never, ever wanted. When I was younger and I didn't have any friends, I never wanted to stop being who I was just to get them. I'd rather be alone and myself than popular and lying. I have never had the urge to align with society's expectations for me. Sometimes I wish that I was thinner, but that's more of my Mother's nagging than anything else. But for some reason, even when she tells me that I need to be more like everyone else, if only to keep myself out of trouble (which I seem to be in a lot these days), I can't help but wonder why. I can't imagine trying to tone myself down or cage up my feelings just to make other people happy. I don't want to be in trouble anymore, but I do want to be myself more than anything else. I want to be able to say that I have always been true to who I am. Why anyone could think that being just like everyone else is desirable is beyond me. Standing out is the best thing to do. It isn't that I want attention, but more like I want people to see me for who I am. I want to make people accept me, whether they like it or not. I don't want to get attention, I'm not seeking that at all. I'm just seeking acceptance.

I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else, but for me, fitting in seems like a terrible fate. Something that I don't want at all. I want the people who know me to love me for just that. And I want the people who don't know me to accept that I am who I am and they have no right to ask me to change. No matter how much it bothers them.