You Know What Bugs Me?

When you tell another girl you're a lesbian, and she automatically thinks that you have a crush on her, or you are going to kiss her, or rape her in the middle of math class, (sorry, I read that in Annie on My Mind, and I always seem to make that reference) or something. I have a policy. I don't crush on friends. It makes things too complicated. Sometimes my crushes become my friends, and then I try to get over the crush, which I've done already this year, actually. I (will) tell people I'm gay because they are my friends, and I want them to know something that is a big part of my life. One reason I don't want to tell people is because this often happens, and things can get really awkward. I hate awkward situations. I avoid them if at all possible. I don't like talking to people on the phone, especially people I don't know, due to awkward silences. I don't like meeting new people. I don't like ordering at restaurants, or buying things. Maybe I'm anti-social? I don't like to talk to people I don't know, and I don't like talking on the phone unless I'm talking to my Mom. That is the only person I feel comfortable talking to on the phone. God. Maybe I really am anti-social. Squall doesn't like to talk on the phone to people much, either, though, I think. But I'm pretty sure she likes people. I don't. She hates to be alone. I love being alone. Often I wish people would just leave me to my book, or whatever.

I think my cat Bella and Squall are similar in personality. They both love to have company, and don't like to be alone. They are both also considerably...I don't know how to say this other than "social". But they are. They like people. I think. I don't know either of their thoughts, and I'm not claiming I do. What I should say is they both seem to like people. Anyway, just an observation...

Okay, it's late, so I should go. Happy Holidays! (People say that before Thanksgiving, right?) -me